Shifting My Thought Process Pt. 1

A Paradigm Shift

Shifting your thought process is the first step to any major change.  This was no exception when it came to my health.  Mine came as a terrible realization; an abrupt wake-up call.  Only after this, was I actually able to get off of my destructive path and to truly see health for what it is.

My paradigm shift was this: Health is far more than how you look. It’s how your feeding your body AND how your feeding your mind.

Let me tell you about the moment my mental process was shifted. I love Golf.  During high school it was my life!  When I was on the course, I was in my element.  Life just made sense.  I had control and confidence that I only wished that I had in other areas of my life.  I loved WHO I was when I was playing.  That all came to a screeching halt when I could not pass my health physical before the start of the season of my senior year.  My confidence, my control and even part of my identity was now hanging in the balance.

My heart rate was extremely low; 40-50 bpm.  This was AFTER the doctor making me do jumping jacks and pushups before testing (for reference, 80 bpm is a normal resting heart rate).  My doctor immediately ordered an EKG to be done.

When the cardiologist entered the room, I could tell that she had something to say to me.  I wondered if my dad, who knew everything I had been doing, had talked to her.  After she began speaking, I knew that is exactly what he did!  At first I was incredibly defensive.  I did not want to change what I thought was achieving my goal of what I wanted to look like.  But that changed when she said the words:

“This is NOT a diet, you have an eating disorder.”

“An eating disorder?  No way!” I thought.  I looked over to my dad and then it hit me.  This was not just a heart examination, this was an intervention.  My eating habits weren’t just killing me, but my family was dealing with the effects as well.

My defensiveness quickly dissipated when she began to share her story.  She had dealt with the same thing!  I really began to listen, when she began to tell me about her anorexia and the effect it had on her and those she loved.  I believe to this day she was sent from God to deliver that message to me. 

As we continued to share with each other, she told me how she changed her mentality.  She said that you can be healthy and still eat pizza!!! She said that you need to give yourself grace and not beat yourself up for taking care of the emotional side that eating satisfies.  If I wanted to truly be healthy, I needed NUTRITION, not more legalistic discipline.

It was at that point my life started to change.

It was a place of complete freedom!  I got healthy, and back to golf soon after.  It was then that I began my journey towards being healthy and not skinny.  I think about that doctor often, and the effect that her courage to share with me, had on my life.  I can’t remember her name, but God used her that day to speak to me and I remember how she made me feel.  I hope that by writing this, I can continue to pay forward that doctor’s message to someone else who needs to hear it.

 

Do you have a moment like that in your life?  Maybe someone who had that kind of pivotal impact?  If so I would love to hear about it. 

Talk To you all soon….

Dad and Audie golf

Love,

Audrey 🙂

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2 thoughts on “Shifting My Thought Process Pt. 1

  1. Kathryn Shvorak June 14, 2018 — 5:46 am

    I love you audie I had no idea that diet you were on took such an effect on you. I remember telling you too that you are barely eating anything and then I wanted to do the same thing, that ended quick I couldn’t even do that. It’s been such a long time even if I don’t remember it I’m glad you are good and healthy. Girl you are strong and an amazing friend I’m so glad you shared your message:)

    Like

    1. Hey girl!
      I wasn’t truly telling myself the truth or those around me. I was hiding the fact it was a disorder by saying diet. There are so many that are in that postion. I pray they realize there’s a better way.
      Love you girl!

      Like

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