The day Ben and I found out we were pregnant. We were in Starbucks of all places. 🙂
Yes I’m obsessed…
We were itching to tell family and friends. We didn’t want to wait for confirmation. The excitement was overwhelming.
While we are still excited, we are expressing it differently.
As I write this, I’m reminded of how each pregnancy journey looks different on everyone. It also looks different from day to day. I write this because it weighs heavily on my heart to hear so many moms talk down to one another. It also isn’t helpful when people tell pregnant women they should be happy that they are carrying a miracle. They have the best of intentions when saying this; trying to comfort and encourage. But, in reality, it tends to feel more dismissive of the tough parts of pregnancy.
My first trimester I was extremely sick. I lost 10lbs due to the amount of food aversions I was having. I couldn’t wait to get to my second. I thought to myself “No more saltines and Preggy Pops!” 🙂
Well…that wasn’t the case.
I got into my second trimester and was nearly sick the whole time. My only relief was rubbing peppermint essential oil all over my baby bump. That and Chobani’s Blueberry Yogurt…LOTS of Chobani’s Blueberry Yogurt. God bless Chobani (whoever he or she may be) and Young Life’s peppermint oils.
But it was still such a battle every day. I cried and cried; wondering when I was supposed to start “glowing” I would think about my dad and what he would say if he were here. Probably just say “quit being dramatic AB! You ARE glowing!” 🙂 Thanks dad.
But, just because I was a hot mess first and second trimester, it doesn’t mean I was any less excited to be carrying such a miracle!
My wonderful husband sat with me day and night. As I was sick he comforted me. He made many runs to the store buying things I’m sure he never thought he would ever have to buy. 🙂 🙂 hahaha… But his excitement was still the same, it just looked different.
Whatever the case, no matter the way your pregnancy turns out, it does not make you less of of mom. Even if people wonder why you don’t seem as happy or excited as you should be, you still do love your child!
Please hear me out… that’s an important message expecting moms need to hear:
You are not LESS OF A MOM.
Women seem to bond with their babies so quickly in-utero and I wasn’t. It didn’t mean I Loved Titus any less. There were many factors contributing to how I was feeling. I felt so much pressure to act how I thought “Normal” bonding with your baby was supposed to be.
But hey…what is normal really? Be very careful about researching what your pregnancy should be like at the time. There is no such thing as a perfectly normal pregnancy. The best tip I would say is simply to expect the unexpected! (ask your OB LOTS of questions).
Some women cant wait to get pregnant again…others are saying NEVER again!
Some women LOVE their bump… and some may not.
Some cant wait for the pregnancy to be over…some enjoy it the whole way through.
Some may even be dealing with depression.
I want to pause here and say something incredibly important. Please reach out to someone; your spouse, a mentor, family member or better yet, a professional! There is NO shame in it. Don’t just ignore your feelings and dismiss them as “hormones.” They need to be addressed.
If you do feel shame thrown your way remember this:
You are stinkin incredible and carrying a HUMAN LIFE INSIDE OF YOU! You go momma!
Now lets talk about my third trimester…
Im 32 weeks now. The excitement is still there…
But it looks a little more like discomfort and fatigue.
It looks a little more like feeling faint and shaky from anemia for which I have to take extra Iron.
It looks a little more like having a lot of anxiety and chronic pain due to a MTHFR gene mutation I recently discovered for which I take methylfolate. (my husband recommended I get a “one bad MTHFR” tattoo…)
It looks a little more like being swollen due to a protein S deficiency; a blood clotting disorder. For this, I have to take baby aspirin.
Even though it looks like this, I still have so much Joy! I’m grateful for this miracle of a baby no matter how I look or come across.
I strive for health all the more both emotionally and physically. This blog is just as much about emotional health as physical health because it is just as important. The two are intertwined and effect each other greatly.
I’m so grateful for a husband who, despite lots of noise in the world, tells me I’m a good mom, and will be!
So I want to recognize and give credit to you mommas out there! Take care of yourself. Its okay to be honest with people on how you feel. It does not make you any less of a mom or strong woman! Reach out to someone if you are struggling. Let’s face it, what you’re doing is amazing….
**** Love to all you moms who are trying to conceive or have a baby not by blood. This does not discredit you AT ALL. We all have our own paths to walk. Your pregnancy journey starts LONG before you conceive.
No matter how you decide to do it: adoption, c-section, natural, artificial insemination, use epidurals…the list goes on forever…
Your heart makes you a mom, not the circumstance.
Give grace and love to each other and forget the expectation of “normal.” We all need as much help as we can get.
Love you all!
*disclaimer and shameless plug ;)*: If you want to try some peppermint oil for that nausea, shoot me a message! (I sell it now) It helped me so much and is what first turned me on to Young Life’s essential oils. They have other oils that have worked well for me too! (and you’ll be helping to support this blog :-D)