Meltdown Confessions: Pregnancy Edition
Throughout this pregnancy I may have had a FEW meltdowns that seem very reasonable in the moment but then quickly turn into confusion. If you have been pregnant before please tell me I’m not alone. Haha.
I look back now at some of my meltdowns and wonder why? Why was I so upset? It really didn’t feel like overreacting in the moment. I felt my reactions were justifiable. Haha
So most of my meltdown memories I shoved away. I put them in a land that I was going to forget about and pretend they never happened. I wanted to pretend I was the Glowing pregnant women who cooked and cleaned barefoot in the kitchen. Haha YEAH RIGHT!
I got to thinking, why would I do that?
I’m sure there are other mothers out there who have had meltdowns before and it’s time to be real about them. SO, I had to ask my lovely husband (with whom I am celebrating 3 wonderful years today, Happy Anniversary boo!) to remind me of the meltdowns. Haha.
He was nervous and tried to redirect the conversation at first. I had essentially asked him to remind his 9 month pregnant wife about the times she had been irrational. But after many assurances that I was serious, and that other moms could probably relate to this, he relented.
Now it’s time to laugh about them. 🙂
Meltdown Number 1: Why would Quik Trip do this to me?!
I did not have many cravings throughout my pregnancy. I really just had food aversions. Really STRONG food aversions (Ben reminded me that I lost 15 lbs my first trimester). I finally happened upon a food that tasted better than it ever have before. That food was Chobani Blueberry Yogurt. I’m Bolding this beauty because it deserve to be in bold lettering. The joy it brought me with each bite is indescribable. The Q.T. by our house always kept a good stock of them. I came in there often buying sacks full of yogurt late at night.
Until one night.
They. Had. NONE!
I had a complete meltdown. The feelings that were going on inside me were: exhaustion, hunger, rage, sadness and oh RAGE. Rage is mentioned twice for a reason. I had testosterone flowing through my body (Thanks to little Titus) and I’ve never experienced that feeling before. Haha.
I whined to Ben in the middle of QT, “ALL I WANTED WAS SOME YOGURT! CAN I NOT JUST HAVE YOGURT? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME???”
My lovely husband handle it with much patience and ease. He comforted me as though it were a true tragedy and took me to another QT. Yes, it was still midnight and yes, the second QT had my yogurt. He reassured me that QT did not do this to me on purpose. 🙂
Meltdown Number 2: The Grilled Cheese Incident
I was making Ben and I grilled cheese one night and was having contractions at the same time. I was truly not having it but I was determined to get through making grilled cheese. In my mind I was trying to be a good wife and make him something after a long day of hard work. Out of frustration I gave a loud wail. Ben came running into the kitchen to my rescue to make sure I was okay.
In my utter despair I cried, “I’m going to be a terrible mother! I can’t make grilled cheese. The cheese keeps falling out of the sandwich every time I try to flip it! How am I going to feed Titus???” I stood there with my head down in pity in a puddle of tears. Ugh, it felt like the end of the world to me. I thought, “how can I be a good mom if I can’t make a good grilled cheese??”
My sweet husband comforted me and finished the task. He reassured me that: “You can make a grilled cheese!” He reminded me “that’s not what makes good mothers. You are going to be a good mom.” 🙂
Meltdown Number 3: Am I A LEPER?!
During one of my MANY trips to the hospital thinking something was happening; whether it was that Titus wasn’t moving enough or thinking my water broke, I had a curious test result. I found out that a bacterial infection I had as a child was still on my reports. It said I have MRSA. While I was there they decided to check me to get it off my report. I was sure it was a joke.
Turns out I tested positive as a carrier of MRSA.
I was a carrier of what?!!?!
The OB reassured me that literally everyone is a carrier. Some have been infected and just have to take precautions to protect our own selves.
When I left the Dr. that day her reassurance quickly left my mind and all I thought about was how I needed to be locked away in a room. I needed to be in quarantine. I was dangerous to the world. I was getting deeper and deeper into this thought pattern.
I called Ben the next day crying… Through the sniffles and trying to get my words out I cried “I’m not going to be able to kiss Titus Boo Boo’s, I can’t clean any skinned knees or help him with a bloody nose…” In his confusion I had to remind him about what the doctor had said the day before. By this time he was past what the doctor had said and was as confused as to why I was so bothered by it.
I went on to ask the pitiful question: “Am I like one of those people in the Bible where you had to yell out your disease and tell people to stay away?”
Ben, through laughter this time, reassured me I was indeed not a LEPER. He reminded me of what the doctor had said, everyone has it. So I felt better… for a little while. Haha 🙂
Okay Ladies, Tell me some of your meltdown stories! Please let me know I’m not the only one here. 🙂
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